Over 2 million children have been diagnosed with anxiety, with many occurrences happening specifically around back to school time.
Back to school anxiety can best be described as a combination of separation anxiety, social anxiety, and specific fears the child may have. But what causes this common form of anxiety and how can you, as a parent, bring it to a halt?
Read on for 7 important tips on how to prepare your child for that daunting first day and set them up for a thriving and successful year.
Causes of Back to School Anxiety
You know it well and have come to expect it. The tears, the meltdown, the deathlock grip around your leg during drop off time. You would think that after years of returning to school your child would be used to the drill.
The truth is, the anxiety isn’t caused by the school at all, rather from what comes with the school. While summer provides an important mental break that children need, it also gives time to reform strong connections and bonds with caregivers.
These bonds cause separation anxiety to occur when the child is suddenly faced with being disconnected from their caregiver.
That bonding time also tends to occur more with immediate family or friends the child knows well, and less time learning how to establish new friendships. As a result, the child is faced with social anxiety when it’s time to meet new children.
How to Help Your Child this School Year
If you’re dreading that first (and second, and third) morning in front of your child’s school, fear not. There are ways to help your child adapt before that first day comes along.
Try out the following tips to help your child acclimate to the first day back at school.
1. Spend More Time Out (Gradually)
Going from spending all day, every day with you to being separated for hours at a moments notice can feel like a real crisis to your child. Which is why it’s important to gradually adjust them to your absence.
Start by leaving them with a sitter for an hour. Explain where you’re going and the time you’ll be back. Gradually increase the time in half-hour increments. It’s important to always tell your child the time you’ll be returning and to be back by that time.
This will establish a trust that you’ll always return when you say you will, making separation anxiety less intense on the first day back to school.
2. Introduce Your Child to New Learning Experiences
If it’s your child’s first time going to school, they might not be aware of the fun that comes along with learning.
Introduce them to the joy of discovering new things with home learning activities, trips to the museum, and nature walks. Aim to use the word “learning” or “working” when doing these activities, so your child will understand that there’s similar fun awaiting them at school.
3. Make New Friends
Our children follow our lead and learn many of their own social cues from how we interact with others. Which is why it’s important for your child to see what it’s like to put yourself out there and make friends.
Feel free to be vulnerable with your child, it’s okay to let them know when you’re nervous to talk to someone for the first time, or when you find someone you think would make an interesting friend.
This tip works even better when you make a friend that has a child of a similar age, so your child has the opportunity to practice what they’ve observed.
4. Establish a Comfort Item
If your child is still showing signs of separation anxiety, it may help to have a comfort item in place. A comfort item is something small, familiar (and school-approved) that your child can take with them to remind them of home.
Often a small photo or a locket works as a great comfort item, as they tend to be school approved and allow your child to have a familiar face to look at when they need it.
5. Create an Open Dialogue
Part of school-related anxiety comes from your child not being able to express the feelings their experiencing. Even if your little one hasn’t developed the full vocabulary to voice what their feeling, talking about your own day with them will create the space to share what they can.
If you’re not at the point where your child is opening up conversationally, pay attention to how your child plays. Storytelling, pictures, and playing with dolls is a great way to get an idea of how your child views the world around them.
6. Start the Home Routine Early
We get it, it’s easy to get comfortable in the lull of summer vacation. However, going back to school is a big change and making to many changes at once is never easy.
Try getting back into the swing of your “home routine” 1-2 weeks before school starts. Re-establish a solid bedtime and waking up time, get back to bedtime stories, and even set up a snack basket.
The more your child can get used to before school begins, the easier it will be to adjust.
7. Talk with a Professional
If you find your child is still struggling with returning to school, and this struggle is occurring for months instead of weeks, it may be time to speak to a professional.
Anxiety could be difficult to express, and even harder to understand, which is why a professional approach can often help bridge the gap between parent and child.
Finding the Help You Need
If your child is struggling with back to school anxiety, and the tips above aren’t cutting it, it may be time to speak with a mental health professional.
Our professionals are here to help your child handle the big feelings they don’t quite understand yet, and to give you a better idea of the challenges they may be facing.
To speak with a mental health professional today, contact us for more information.